9 months

Roughly translated as any day now.

How am I feeling? Well, I'm a mixture.

You know those machines the builders use on site to mix cement. I feel like that is me with a bit of excitement added, then some anxiety, topped off with some tears, add a dollup of "can I do this?" sprinkle lots and lots of smiles, hope, patience and finally contentment. This weekend I was very aware of everything I was doing in order to avoid labour as Dr. Howard told me that little one is ready. But now I realise that there is nothing I can do. My body is preparing itself for this incredible journey, at its own time. I am merely a player in this game of life. My heart and mind is open and I'm ready for what comes my way.

Insha-Allah.

August has been quite a month at 8 months!

It's been a while. I know.

Mostly because it has really been a long, challenging, emotional, exciting month.

It was Junaid's birthday. We started ante natal classes. I attended Mariam's baby shower. It was Oupa's 100 days. It was my baby shower.

(Thanks to my friends for organising)






It was Ameen's birthday.
We pre-admitted ourselves to hospital. Learnt breathing exercises for labour. It was Ayesha's birthday. My wedding rings no longer fit. We started fasting. Experienced first set of Braxton Hicks. Learnt all about caesarian sections and how having a baby changes everything. My fingers and toes get all crampy in the morning. Mariam gave birth. Got a cold, went back to doctor. All good -no temperature. Constipated. Mummy sick, had to drive myself to work. Get contents for hospital bag - got a shock at the price of nipple cream. Semi-packed hospital bag. Attended Layla's name-giving (below)









And work. Had to produce 5 tv ads in the space of 2 weeks! Regular. Fill out UIF forms. Spend some quality time with Junaid. Becoming indecisive about names. The beat goes on...






Well done Mariam!!
You were thrown into the deep end, but from what I saw yesterday, you are coping well, Alhamdoelilah.

Naz! Tag, you're it!

Low Mo' for her Majesty

Today is a low mo' day.
By that I mean - I had a bit of a low moment.
Why - dunno really. Just found myself crying this morning.
I'm not sad, just teary.
Does that make sense?

You see - for someone who does not like the dentist, I have been frequenting Dr. Copas' offices more than ever. It first started when I spotted a tiny hole on one of my eye teeth. I got the go ahead from my gynae to proceed with the filling procedure. Shot! No more hole.

Then about 2-3 weeks later I notice severe pain in my front tooth and when I touched it, it was very sore! I could not see any visible cavity and then decided to visit my dentist again. He can't take any xrays, so he probed and drilled and found that I had an abscess within my gum line, which he drained - he even showed me the green goo which was spilling out of it. He said I was lucky to have caught it before it became anything major and very painful. I then had to have root canal treatment done which could not be completed fully because xrays needed to be completed to see the severity and depth of the root which needed to be sealed. I have temporary dressing on that one now.

So on Friday past I was busy eating some paaper when all of a sudden one of my pre-molars at the back broke it half. In half! I went to the dentist this morning and again because of the xray issue, I got temporary dressing to cover the tooth. Dr Copas said I was a candidate for a crown. He put me at ease when he saw how tearful I was when he said in his Irish accent, "Don't be so down Leila, it's just a tooth. It's just a tooth."

7 months this week

Oh my word, I'm just over 29 weeks.

Lots of people are saying I'm carrying a big baby. Next week I will check her size to see if everything is on par with her age. We are also going for an orientation visit at the hospital to familiarise ourselves with how the labour ward will look on the day of her arrival. I hope it's not too daunting. I was watching the Zone Reality channel and I saw how wide the mom's legs were and how many eyes are looking up her caboodle. Got me scared for a minute, but then when the little one came out I cried at seeing her and her parents crying. Come to think of it, I am crying a lot these days. Yesterday I was at my desk and started crying when I heard a Disney theme song. What gives. I think I am just a bag of emotions you know. Excited, anxious, sad, happy.

I think a contributing factor could be that I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a while. Constantly having to pee and finding the right position. Luckily there is a masseuse at work and I try to go at least once a week, they really do help.

There is also so much to do and I find during that the week, I keep saying what needs to be done on the weekend and end up doing almost nothing when the weekend comes. This past Sunday, we made lists and I'm happy to report that one thing has been ticked off since then :) so slowly but surely... I guess.

Mummy drove me to work yesterday because I was soo tired and had a bit of sinus headache. That also helps a lot when there is peak traffic.

I'm also noticing that I can't eat as much as I thought I could. I waste and then Junaid eats it up for me. I also had my first bout of heartburn which was was such a different experience. I love atchaar and that night I had some, thinking that it was the mangoes which burnt my mouth, I kept drinking water and later had some ice cream... I tell you, I did not sleep well that night. She was wide awake kicking. I have since left the spicy foods alone.

Now, just thinking of a name for this little Star...

67 Minutes

What is 67 minutes?

An initiative by Nelson Mandela to use 67 minutes of your day (his birthday) to do something good for someone else.
My work encouraged the staff to do something – pack your cupboards and toss out old clothes, spend time with the elderly, plant a tree, write a poem etc.

What did I do?

I decided to allocate a budget of R67.00 to buy bread and give it to various people on my way home from the store. I managed to get 15 loaves.

The series of events in pictures:

• My husband packing the bread in the boot of our car
• An old lady standing outside her house, looking very uncertain as to why I was approaching
  
• This lady was walking with her kids, but when I approached them, the kids walked faster, away from me. She couldn’t believe that I was giving her something for nothing. Even asked me what was the catch?
  
• This man was very grateful. (Pic taken from inside the car, I had just come from a dental appointment and my mouth was numb, not to mention being 7 months pregnant, having to get in and out of the car finally took its toll)
  
• Lady on the corner who looked very sad.
  
• These kids were jumping rope and were reluctant to accept the bread, but happy to pose for the pic.
  
• While driving down Voortrekker road - I noticed a fire and people sitting around it.
  We hooted and this couple came from the “forest” and confirmed that there were ten families living in the woods. Luckily for us, I had 10 loaves left. They couldn’t bless us enough.
  

What this has reminded me:

Everyday has 67 minutes - you don’t need an occasion to care.
People are appreciative of the simplest things.
Alhamdoelilah, we are truly blessed.

Ah! Nostalgia...

Today is my sister's birthday and I miss her.

I missed it this morning when Papa and Mummy would have greeted her and then we end up tearful.I'll miss it tonight when there is no supper to go to like when we went with Shanaaz & Junaid to Jai Pur Palace in '04 or in '07 when we went to Ocean Basket ordering so much food that we ate ourselves into a coma. I missed it when she opened her gift from me.

Birthdays were unique in our home - we would have Mamma & Hattie dressed to the nines and Uncle Eddie attend our party and then a shoot as Papa would video us opening our gifts and blowing out the candles. Every year, batteries would be placed in the birthday bunny and when we sang he would play the tune. My mom would always be the life of the party. "Here we go! Here we go!" Trying out Yumna's new bike.

We would put on those small singles of "On my own" as well as LPs of Michael Jackson :( and District Six. Papa would cut roses from the garden and put it in a vase for the table or clip it in our hair. We would both get gifts so that the other one does not feel left out and it wasn't high-tech, guitar hero, ninteno Wii type of things - it was simple. A doll. A teaset. Come to think of it now, not even the simple gifts matter. The best gift on your birthday is love.

The love of your parents. The love of your husband. The love of your children. The love of your sister. And no matter where in the world you may be, Yumna, may my love surround you now and always. Insha-Allah.

Happy Birthday Sis.

6 months

I can't believe it!

I think for these past 6 months, I didn't fully believe or comprehend what is happening.

It's like I am in my own zone. My own world.

It was only during the drive to work today that I realised I have about 12 weeks left...to get the baby's room done, to finalise the finances (first of which is to STOP with the unnecessary spending and yet today I'm having my hair done!), to do this, to do that.

I also realised that it's the last few weeks my husband and I will be sharing as a couple. Kinda bittersweet, but am both J & I are so excited.

This was taken just before I attended a 21st birthday, finally looking pregnant and wearing Ayesha couture.