Bend it like Beckham

Last night while watching Survivor, I was on my back when I decided to leave my tummy exposed. J came over and started talking to her, telling her he missed her today and asking if she'd prefer a Barbie or a Snow White doll.

He says:
Kick once for Barbie.
Nothing.
Kick twice for Snow White.
Double nothing.
It was only when he looks away did my tummy move for the first time!

She kicked! I scream!

He looks. Nothing. Looks away. Movement.

Looks at my tummy. Nothing. Looks away. Movement.

Shame, he sat there fixed for a while, patiently waiting for her to move again. Nothing.

So how many was that? 3
What does that mean little one?
Barbie or Snow White?
Both.

Stuck in a moment

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

Hormones

Hormones made pimples on my face
Hormones has affected my taste
Hormones put me out of the mood
Hormones hopefully not for good
Hormones made my hair longer
Hormones made my feminine scent stronger
Hormones keep my number 2's at bay
Hormones make me forget what to say
Hormones make my neck and back ache
Hormones only Panado I can take

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

Pregnancy has made me a bit more frank.
Colleen calls me Dr.Frank because for some reason, I'm just telling it like it is. (Eat this Dr. Phil!) It's like I have no reservations, but still know my limits.

I think being pregnant also, has in turn allowed others to be frank with me.
Especially in the intimacy department.
I guess being pregnant is the sure way to tell you're doing it ;)

One morning, my mom dropped by while I was getting ready for work, putting on my make up and noticed my unmade bed. She saw that I did not put on my mattress cover (under the fitted sheet) and decided to share her knowledge about how to maintain and look after one's mattress. That was all good and well-intended when she suddenly says, "You know you have to keep it clean and protect the mattress from all the comings"
Gob-smacked, I stop applying my mascara. "I'm sorry, mummy, what did you say"
"You know, ejaculation?"
Stunned, I tell her, "Mummy you can't talk that stuff to me!"
Unphased she replies, "But I can you, you're a married woman having a baby!"

When will I see you again?

My vajayjay that is.
I can't see her, let alone try to keep her clean green.
It's become such a missh, as sitting and trying to do it - I become out of breath.
I know I could get a wax, but none of my friends have had it and I'm afraid of exposing my bits ;)
Guess hubby will just have to do it LOL
Or I will fix a mirror to the wall.

Make Love Not War

You know it's amazing how much love is all around when you're pregnant.

Ok, maybe it has always been there but it is felt more.

Mummy and Aunty F getting me maternity clothes.

My sister mailing me everyday with possible names.

Cousins telling me they can't wait to take little one shopping.

Colleagues at work always asking "how's the passenger?" The boss sending out an 'all staff' to let everyone know and just the feedback I got was quite overwhelming. Gifts from suppliers like these flowers, well wishes from people I don't deal with on a daily basis. A pregnancy bible which I couldn't look at as the real pics made me ill - weird I know. Some even watching my sugar intake for fear of gestational diabetes. People who were too shy to come forward telling me they're expecting too.I'm happy to be share my pregnancy with friends and colleagues - Mariam, Nazreen, Q, Tertia, Adiela, Riska, Zan, Zummi, Shanaaz M, La.

Support and advice in abundance!

Nipples the size of Australia

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who has the biggest nipples of them all?

What gives? All I see when I undress is darkened circles peering back at me.
It has made me a bit conscious, I must confess, but hubby is supportive and is loving the fuller and heavier boobs, so maybe it's not so bad after all.

Pink Converse

31 March

I'm nervous today. It is the 13th week scan at the Fetal Assessment Centre, to detect any possible neurological diseases like Downs syndrome. It's also a window period to do any further invasive tests and to terminate should something be wrong. The latter not being an option at all. The way I see it, Allah knows what you are capable of - He knows your potential. So what comes my way, I can face it as He believes in me.

This scan was so different - very clear and magnified.
Little one waved at us. We saw what was once a mass of cells was now a little body - even though it did look a bit like an alien ;)
Hearing the heartbeat - so fast and loud was also a treat.
I couldn't help but cry when they said little one was healthy and growing well. All good

Hubby said if it's a girl, I'll get a pair of pink converse shoes and if a boy, a blue pair...

Thank goodness for sisters and technology

My sister lives with her family in Dubai and had two kids of her own.
Even though she is there, I can at any moment sms, email or skype and ask her the most ridiculous questions about what I’m going through.
Why is there a bitter taste in my mouth? Can I eat feta cheese?
Or my favorite - why do I suddenly find it very difficult to do a number 2?
It’s weird.
Distance may keep us far from each other, but we are very close.

Ode to Morning Sickness

I'm stuck at my desk
which has become such a mess
I can't think straight
at the sight of my plate
Ginger biscuits, ginger beer
the non alcoholic kind
can't get this nausea
out of my mind.

For the first time I actually felt the morning sickness consume me. I found that lying down and not rushing to work made me a bit more comfortable. But alas, I had to get up and get ready. Sunday, I threw up just after I took the nausea medication so I'm not sure if that helps either. I am so tired and just long for bed. During the day! At my desk I dream about sleeping. This is not like me and sometimes I'm very hard on myself, but then I realise what is happening within me, then I ease up on myself.

Clean green and a heartbeat is seen

24 February, 2pm
First gynae appointment

We sat in the waiting room, I had just peed in the cup and now was looking at all the brochures that were on the table in front of me. Fashionable maternity wear. Exercise for pregnant ladies. UIF for working mommies. A lot in one go. I decided to focus my attention on the 'thank you' cards given to Dr. Howard by his mommy to be's. Most of them had pictures of their babies on them. I became emotional, it suddenly felt real.

Dr Howard welcomed us in, sat us down and congratulated us. He was able to tell us the possible date of conception and I immediately recalled that night. It was a romantic evening with pillows and blankets spread across the floor, and us just being, the perfect way to end off our first year of marriage. I'm someone who writes these things down!

He took us through the various birth options which he realised - at the sight of my reaction - was a bit premature. Went through our medical histories and told us about the various scans that may be done during the pregnancy to check on the well-being and growth of the little one. He then went into detail about the scan that was about to be completed. My concentration stopped when he mentioned the word vaginal scan.

I'm sorry what did you just say? In my mind I thought it was going to like the ones I saw on TV. You know where they put that jelly on your belly? Again, by my reaction, he knew he had to pacify me and tell me that because the little one was so little, a stomach scan could not detect him/her properly hence the v-scan. I was clean green – I usually am, so I was not worried about that, was just worried about it being uncomfortable. It was not.

I tell you, the moment you see a little flutter of a heartbeat on the screen you think of nothing but just that tiny ball of cells in front of you. Inside you. Flutter. Flutter. No audio, just flutter.

My husband and I sat there in awe realising the miracle of life and how blessed we were to be experiencing it.

Patience is not my virtue

Between my husband and I, I'm the one with the least bit of patience.

I can come back again if I see a queue is too long at Woolworths or I can park the furthest away from the entrance to the mall, just so that I don't sit in the car waiting for a closer parking... so can you just imagine my plight when I had to wait to see the gynae!

You see, I had to. The appointment with him was only 4 weeks after the initial pregnancy finding. Because the blood test revealed that I was only 4-5 weeks pregnant, they felt that it would be unnecessary for me to come in as there would be no clear visibility of a sac or heartbeat. It was the longest 4 weeks of my life.
I was already experiencing the exhaustion, nausea and mood swings. The latter being very unusual for me at work and it was being noticed. I felt it my duty to tell my department. This also put everything into perspective for them, as there were days when I was tired, I used to have my sunnies on - with eyes closed beneath the Chanel lenses.

There it was - 2 lines

Jan 2009

It was a Sunday. We had a braai. I was just finishing up the last bit of table settings when I needed to pee really badly. I always kept pregnancy tests in the bathroom cupboard since getting off the pill, my periods were irregular. I always was excited when I used them, not those cheap ones where you need to pee in a cup and use that dipper thing.
I preferred the midstream, any time of the day ones. This was anytime of the day and I decided to use my last one.

For some reason, I always feel under pressure when I need to pee on or in something. Even now at the monthly visits to the gynae, I'm always afraid that I might miss. I managed to get a decent amount of drops on the tip of the test and sat waiting with it in my hand - I know I was supposed to leave it on a flat surface. As I saw the pee fill the gap and saw that 2 lines were now being highlighted, not just the one which I became accustomed to, my heart started to beat faster. Even now, as I re-live this incident, probably one of the best moments in my life - my heart beats faster.

I think I may have let out a little scream. I couldn't call on my hubby as he was out buying rolls. I recall my mother blowdrying her hair and I went to her with the wet and colourful stick and showed it to her. She wasn't wearing her glasses and asked me what I was showing her. Buzzkill. I then told her she was going to be a granny!

My husband was still not back from the shops and I went to tell my father who was busy napping. I told him, "Papa, how do you feel about being a grandfather in Cape Town" He looked at me still in his sleepy daze as I said, "cause that is what you are going to be!"
He had tears in his eyes and thanked the Almighty. Alhamdoelilah.

Eventually, my husband came home. I can still remember where he was - we were in the hallway when I said nothing and took the test from behind my back and showed it to him.
We were silent for at least a minute, both with tears in our eyes.

We were going to be parents.